Not The Person I Thought He Was...

The heading of this entry can take many definitions and/or directions...
So who can say how many I will explain now as I tend to ramble and jump all over the place.
Although Rob tried or tires I should say, to play or come across as a "Mother
Mary/Holier Than Thou" kind of character, he is far from it and I believe, that he thinks he has the wool pulled over many an eye. Slowly though, common friends are realising this as well.
Rob and I had our final conversation about 3 months back. Within that conversation, as civil as it was, I asked and wanted an answer to "Did you cheat on me, in the beginning of our relationship, early on?" - Rob danced around that question. Twice I had to say, "just answer the question, its a yes or no answer" -
He responded with "Yes" - I didn't question, although I know it happened after that as well. It was the initial break in trust that ruined or was the beginning of the end of the relationship, even 15 years back.
Hearing him answer yes, killed me -
That night I went out and when I got home, all that was going through my head was the question and answer I just posted above. Telling myself that I was an idiot, how stupid I was. Until it dawned on me. I didn't do anything wrong, that I didn't deserve that. I am so much better than him as a human being, so much better to him as a partner as I didn't pull any of this "funny business".
Rob wasn't who he was portraying to me, yet more of a schizo. He was one way when he was with me, and someone totally different when he left my apt, all the while me thinking he was going home - Not his home at least...this was a trend that would continue on for years.
Recently, while surfing some adult web cam site, who did I come across the screen, and you get one guess...Yes Rob!
He started off with sex chat lines, now exposing himself naked on a WWW, sex cam site! It's all good and dandy, but if you knew Rob as I do/did, it is quite shocking, and really, not pretty to look at. I have a screen cap of it he he.
He has sunk to a new level of slag-dom. He's no longer a cheating slag, as I dumped his scrawny ass and thank god for that. Now hes exposing his vile self onto the world. Is this his way of possibly finding someone else to play the same games??
I wrote to him, cuz I had to, as I was astounded yet not all to surprised really.
He wanted a new cell phone for free evenings and weekend minutes to chat to slags on sex chats all night long, and I am telling you, he wanted a laptop so he could mess around through that avenue as well. Rob would deny that til the cows come home, but trust me, its true! Hes so predictable and disgusting that way. I told him, his mother would be disgusted herself if she knew what her son was really like. I myself, am thrilled to be free of such trash. Its come to the point, well I reached this point shortly after I got an honest answer about cheating on me, but I reached a point where I realised I want nothing to do with him. Never want to see him or hear his voice. I have a video of Africa that I spent weeks on last year - I watched it the other day, when it marked the 1 year of my African adventure. When I saw Rob I couldn't look at the screen. Not due to emotions, but due to the fact that he has become something I hope I never come close to being, as well as, I dont wish to get to know anyone remotely close to his character. I don't hang with trash or promiscuous people.
Years ago, I remember Rob coming to my apt and balling, telling me how he didn't "want to become a typical fag" - Unfortunately he was, is, will always be.
He is the type of homosexual you wouldn't want to take home to mom. His outer appearance or personality again, maybe that of a "good boy" but deep inside lurks a horrid waste of human cells. Rob lives the life of the typical promiscuous, lying and cheating type of homosexual that gives us "normal" for lack of a better word, homosexuals, a bad image.
To be so fake to people, including friends and family, my family, who at one point cared and/or loved him is a characteristic I have little time for.
It is funny as I retell certain situations to friends, they too are realising what or how he really is.
One friend, the other day said, as we discussed his cam whoring, "why cant he just be himself, if he wants to fuck around do it but to be so deceitful" - Bingo - she hit the nail right on the head!