A Living Tragedy....

I remember years ago, and I'm going back to before Rob and I were shacked up -
I recall, late one night going for a coffee with him near Yonge and St Clair. It was a nice summers night and who needed sleep at 22 years of age?
Anyways, Rob obviously knew I wasn't a troll like he was...we went to this park, sat on a picnic bench, and enjoyed our coffee with some idle chit chat in the mix.
He went on to tell me, that the park we were in, was a "cruising" park. At the time I had no idea what he meant, until he explained that guys would come here to get their rocks off with strangers who trolled the park itself. I was a bit put off but I wasn't alone, so I was OK...but eventually noticed guys passing by us and figured out what they were doing there. I was innocently sitting there having coffee, all the while, these fags were sucking cock in the bushes a few feet away from me. Years later as we drove by a park off of Vaughan Rd..he went on to tell me how he met some guy, from a phone sex chat, in the park and sucked his cock in the bushes...that was one of my first realisations that this guy was a slag...he was almost proud to tell me this? Where as in my head it was just something else I "noted".
It eventually, with experience, made me realise that Rob is/was and always would be, one of these typical fags. It was hard to have a boyfriend with a colourful past as Rob. Unfortunaltey it didnt remain in his past, yet it carried on right thru til this past spring, and Im sure, to this day, I can pretty much guarantee that, again, though Rob would deny it. I recall after we split and we were chatting. I said that I couldnt imagine myself sleeping with anyone else, it would just be too weird after all these years with one person, the same person at that. Rob uttered similar words. Though I cant understand as he had, over the years, continually slept around on me? So where does that come from? They were just lines he fed me, thinking that I had no clue about his past, including his past with me. To say maybe he couldnt imagine being tight with someone the way we were is one thing, but to sit there and tell me you cant imagine being with anyone else when he had already sucked strangers cocks and gotten off with others, numerous times, was what I didnt understand. I would always call him a slut and he would say, "im not" - he so was and at that point, I had no real confirmation on his slagging ways, but deep down inside I knew. Ive always said, "Im a whore in the bedroom" but that was when I was seeing someone exclusively - Rob on the other hand just fits the bill of "whore" and always had. I mean if he or I for that matter looked like Brad Pitt, Id say, be a whore, with looks like Brad's who wouldnt be...but looking like Rob does and with that body, I would cover up like a nun. The word "warped" comes to mind when I think of his body. As a couple and stupidly in love, you over look those things, they dont matter - Seeing it from this side, its totally different - I could go on about both our imperfections but I know what I know and have a hard time thinkin anyone would want to see that out of clothes with the excpetion of desperation. Its nothing to be proud of and defintely nothing alluring or worth looking at.
He's chosen I guess to show the world on his cam4 site, jacking off in front of the world. I think maybe that is to get some attention by other sad and desperate people.
That doesnt make him a slut, per say, but it definitely makes him a real sad and desperate character - Stooping to new levels of sadness, it never ceases to amaze me as to what he does or has done in the past. The beauty of all this is, hes no longer in my life and never will be, but the memories he gave me, left me with are the most tragic Ive ever experienced. A living tragedy is the best way to define Rob.