Absolutely No Regrets...

As always thoughts run through my mind as I recall the last 15+ years...
I must say that after 15+ years of drama, its hard to not think of it at all, on a daily basis, at some point. Again never in a sad way, or depressed way. Surprising that I didn't fall into a deep depression after all this fell through, but Robs admission of infidelities made it much easier. A few weeks of misery I admit to, but that's totally normal. Rob on the other hand, more than likely and hopefully has gone through a period of regret. If I need to think of anything I regret over the years, nothing comes to mind. I never said I was perfect in that relationship, but next to Robs actions, I was pure as fallen snow. I was never one big on family but when I was with them, to this day, when I'm still with them, I'm 100% Franco.
We lived this charade of complete bliss with his side of the family. As if we never had any problems. Little would friends and family(though I would confess the dramas to my friends) know what a horrific relationship we had, especially near the end.
Rob would get pissed when I told my friends about the "downs" in our relationship. I don't understand that, as if I couldn't speak about the bad? I know part of it would be embarrassment on his end. The weekend that would end up being our last weekend together, the last weekend we would see each other..This was the weekend where I discovered his slutty ways while I was away on holiday. I was having my brother and his gal pal over. We(Rob and I) had made plans to go grab some food and things fora BBQ we would be having. He came over and off we went to the car along the way I was asked, "does your brother know about what happened?" - I couldn't answer that question, as I had no idea. I had fessed up to my mom on the phone the night before, but no clue if she had told my younger brother, so I honestly had no idea. He chose, out of humiliation no doubt, to not stay. Rob tends to run and hide during times of "crisis". If he only knew how much that irritated me. He would throw himself back into his world of denial. I recall one time, with friends, back in 2006, the purpose basically of that dinner was to have an intervention of sorts, in regards
to our relationship, our problems. I remember it was gone midnight and not a word was uttered. I remember that I started the conversation, and then got horribly drunk as I hated the situation I was in and don't recall the rest of the evening, but apparently it went until 5 in the morning.
I'm have, again, no regrets over the 15+ years. I have no problem admitting, that once I realised our relationship was dead in the water, that I slept with someone while on holidays. I scream it and deny nothing. Rob on the other hand would never and to this day wouldn't if he was questioned as he must look like a "good guy" - when in fact he is the complete opposite.
He had this sick and twisted fantasy about brothers shagging which I found sick really, to this day. He had a twisted, dark sexual persona that no one saw, except for possibly, his one night stands behind my back. He made it that he didn't like porn and rude chat, again only in front of me as I have a vulgar mouth. If I think about it we never watched any porn together, but I would see his eyes light up when there was a guy on the tube, in shorts or shirtless...He was weird that way.
If I made any attempt to be rude, he would always have a shocked look on his face as if any of that wasn't normal? Considering how "vanilla" he was in the bedroom, it would shock me when other things would peak his curiosity, when all I saw was a lame lay.
I could sense his being uncomfortable when we spoke of cheating people/lovers as if he never had done that. Again that is something, possibly the one thing he excelled in while we were together. I guess he thought he was sly enough to do what he wanted and not get caught - boy was he wrong.