My Return, As It Happened...

Wow what a whirlwind of the last few days! Finally feeling human again, a few nights of too much of everything, so hence an early night last night and feeling better today. Had a friend over for coffee the other day. We were talkin about relationships. We went on how we, both of us, stayed in relationships for the wrong reason, how possibly, and more than likely we should have ended our bad relationships long before we actually did. She went on to say how a year has passed almost and where things stand now. I went on to say how i never thought that at this time, about a year later, how much better i would be. I asked for the first time if she had seen or spoken to him, just out of interest, just to see if im in a better place. I know I am without asking as my life is mine now. My friend went on to tell me how Rob is still living at home. I just blurted out, "what a sad sad fag", 40 something and living with mom and dad, still!! My friend said that Rob doesnt seem one to live on his own...I dont understand that as everybody has to at some point, especially a queer. My friend said that possibly he is staying there til he saves enough to buy? To that I laugh, a more irresponsible person Ive never known so Id like to see that happen, if only to see it crumble in front of him. I told my friend how, the one thing I no longer have in my life, something Rob introduced me to was jealousy. A jealousy free life is fucking fantastic!I told my friend how re reading old diaries, how I realised what a fool I was, that as early as 94/95, Rob had been screwing around behind my back and it was a sham from day one pretty much. My friend says it should be chalked up to experience. My friend asked about my time, this time last year, when I was away. I told her how I has specified to Rob before I left, that he is NOT to sleep in my room and that no one should enter my home. She asked if I think he did, let anyone in...I told her that the only thing he cleaned, was my bedsheets? Why just the sheets? Ill leave the answer to those who read this blog, up to them. Common sense would dictate, history had repeated itself..over and over. I told my friend how there is no one who knows, knew Rob, at that time, like I did. That Rob can say no, he didnt have anyone over, didnt get off with anyone in my apt and it would be, it is a flat out lie! That Rob can deny it till his last breath, but he is a pathological liar and did have fun at Regal Rd. I explained how he was being so sweet to me while I was away, only to find out, his words were bullshit, all of them. I told her how upon my return home I was thinking of talking to Rob about us. Although we had been living a life of "lovers" the past 2 years, nothing was in stone. This was Rob's scapegoat, for an excuse. But I was thinking that we would get back together. Tomorrow marks 1 year that I returned from London. A year ago today, I hooked up with friends from Africa, in London, for a night of reuniting and a good laugh. I had the guys from the African adventure make video messages for Rob so I could show him upon my return. Only to find out my return would not be as thrilling as I had anticipate. Tomorrow I will tell of my return as it happened.
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