Well a little delayed, this entry that is. I said how the other day I would be recounting, tales of our travels. Rob and I that is. We took our first actual holiday together back in 94 or so. We went off to St. Maarten in the Caribbean. It was my first holiday since I was 20 or so. It was nice to go away with someone I was in love with, sorta like a "honeymoon" of sorts. I don't recall any arguments there though it was years back. I do remember Rob wanting to scout out a local queer bar that he had read about in "Spartacus" a queers guide around the world. Off we went into the dark on this unfamiliar land, only to end up at a waterfront strip of restaurants and cafes. I was a bit irritated as we weren't going out as much back home, yet he wanted to go to a queer place in unknown territory, I wasn't comfortable with it and glad we didn't find it. Our next holiday would be in Cuba. Cuba was gorgeous, the water, the resorts and the people. I do recall taking off on Rob on this holiday, something I would do more often as he would irritate me. If ever I did anything to draw attn or if i looked "off", Rob would shy away. I remember just waltzing away from him. I wanted to go to the night club on the resort and that was like pulling teeth. Why did we have to go to our room so early considering we were on holiday?? He came with me twice, begrudgingly and honestly I didnt have a good time. Other sun destinations would include Ixtapa, and I think that was the first holiday were we didnt really argue, I dont now why, or how that happened, but was grateful for a stress free holiday. We did Cancun which would be one of the last sun destinations as i got the bug to do Europe. One thing I love, in my fantasy world at least would be vacation sex. It always sounded erotic and something to look forward to but Rob was the lamest that way, on pretty much every holiday. Being away from the world as we know it, should have brought on passion filled nights, not with Rob. I remember having gone on a cruise about 5 or so years back, not one night of sex? On the high seas is always stimulating but Rob had a hard time getting it up at the best of times. I remember going to London, England, first time in 2000. There was so much to see and do. I was like a kid in a candy store, I couldnt believe I was in London, finally! I had a few destinations I wanted to hit. One being "Ministry of Sound" nightclub. It at the time had the best sound system in the world. Never did we go. The second time we went which was the following year, I remember going to bed so angry that Rob just wanted to come back to the room or scope out for some pot! I was kind of glad we got ripped off a we did, in regards to pot. We were sold crap! If the nights we spent in were romance filled, I could have tolerated it, obviously. Rob instead chose to watch the BBC or ITV. The one thing I never praised about the UK was their TV line up. London, to me was about celebrity, royalty and night life. Thanks to my persistence I managed a few of those. Late night out never happened with Rob and I. In 2002 I went to London to see a musical, if it wasnt for my gal pal there, Rhiannon, there would have been no fun nights. She managed to get me pot and thankfully, dragged our asses to Heaven, London's most famous gay club. It was indeed, heavenly, to me. I was in all my glory. If I wasnt going to be in my room shagging with my lover, I wanted to be living it up, London stylee. Thee was no sex to be had. On our second trip to the UK, realizing that Rob wasnt going to loosen up, I stormed off from him. Once while at Buckingham Palace, after seeing The Royal Family on the Palace balcony and another time, while sitting in a pub just off Oxford St. I had had enough of lame nights! I didnt pay to go away and sit in my room. One time, I just kept drinking at a pub as it filled up with people. I knew it was making Rob uncomfortable and didnt care. I was on holiday,I wanted to be out. At one point I remember yelling at him in our room, "This fucking holiday may as well be over - I wanna go home!" - I was done. I should have realized then, as well, this wasnt right. He wasnt the right guy for me. He was boring, conservative and lame, in every aspect of the word. Even our cottage getaways were lame. The one thing I love is the great outdoors in northern Ontario. The thought of being away from the world in fresh clean northern spaces was highly erotic, in thought. The first time we did a holiday up north, I tried to get physical outdoors. He was so lame. I remember video taping some of it. You can see the boredom in his eyes as he went down on me. Video evidence of a lame lay! Sex in the great outdoors was something I looked forward to, but it never happened. I think our first cottage holiday was the one where we had the most rampant of sex, indoors though. That holiday was never to be repeated. I think Ive mentioned how on our 10th anniversary, up north, 3 days had passed and nothing! Not a sign of any sexual energy or chemistry for that matter. I recall going to my room out of frustration, only to wake up the next day and blast Rob. Telling him how i dont want him to touch me. I didnt want no pity fuck - he wasnt that good at the best of times, so why waste my pent up sexual energy? I would sunbathe practically in the nude to stir up something, but it fell on deaf ears. I would get to the point where I would give up and do my own thing. The last holiday up north as a couple, at The Silver Birches was by far the worst. Our friends were coming up for the last few days and taking over the following week. Nothing sexual happened until the day of our friends arrival. I couldnt believe 5 days had passed out in the wilderness and nothing happened? I was in shock and awe, as the saying goes. I was livid and gave into a lame mutual masturbation session only to walk out and tell him, "I could have done that myself" - I was done at that point. Friends noticed how much I drank, even I was concerned but didnt care. There was no use being up there together as a couple. There was no reason to go anywhere ever again with him. Though I did, it was only cuz he was the only travel buddy I knew and that was it! There was never again, any thoughts of a wild time while on holiday. I no longer expected it nor did I want it. I was too nice of a human being, otherwise I should have been an ass and messed around in front of his face, but thats not my style. We did Africa together and shagged once we arrived on the island of Zanzibar, there too Rob just was selfish and took care of it when he needed to. Words he spoke were again, and as always just words. The Mayan Riviera, earlier that year as well proved the "when Rob wanted to" scenario. It happened twice while I the Mayan, it was intense only due to lack of sexual activity and still being a couple. Drunken sex is all I wanted, was more wild and I could forget who I was with and just get on with the task at hand. It wasnt until we went to the Dominican Republic in the late 90's that we went all the way. This was erotic but also a mistake as we took no precautions and all the while, him slagging around behind my back. Sexual activity, when it happened was always like that, unprotected. I did the only responsible thing at the time, I got myself tested on a regular basis. There must have been a God as I never got anything, but was adamant about getting tested. Sex waned in our relationship shortly after our first actual break up in the late 90s. When we got back together, it was ok for a period of time, before it went back to nothing, pretty much. Pretty much every holiday we took had some form of drama, primarily based around sex and not wanting to go out in the late hours of the evening, with the exception of the hotel balcony, if we had one. Rob was lame with sex for the last 10 years or so, at home and on holiday. Vacations were times to get away from the "real world" and have a week or 2 of fantasy and fun, this rarely happened with Rob, whether at home or out and abroad! Rob always managed to be a downer in one form or another on holiday. Lifeless is not for me, in any manner, that was Rob, and that ended!
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