The Fantasy Of "Us" Was Dead!!

Although not quite a year since I rec'd Rob's Virgin Mobile final statement, it still feels like yesterday. Those conversations and memories are burned in my memory. The days following the discovery of Robs actions while I was away was a time to figure out what was going on. How would this cookie crumble. Although my feelings for Rob were changing, they quickly went in the opposite direction and fast. After finding out that Rob's old habits never died and that this pattern would continue. I sat and thought about what to do. The drive home on that Friday last year after getting his statement, was uncomfortable and miserable. I realized Rob is no good for me and hadn't been for a long time. I felt used. His words of "Life cant go on without you in my life" were all just that, words. There was no real genuine feelings behind it. Rob can deny this, but his actions spoke louder than any words he could speak. I would tell him he was a slut, as he was, he would almost whimper, "no I'm not". Yes you were, are and always will be. The whimper should have been a sign. Guilt is what Rob was worst at. Hiding it, denying it. He asked me if I wanted to be alone. I thought, since Rob paid half the rent, he was entitled to stay here. I was sort of caught between a rock and hard place in that sense. I didn't want him around. Thoughts of, all the things I didn't know rattled my brain. I was so suspicious at this point. I could not wait for him to leave. Rob all the while, as I'm sure, just went back to doing what he did best, whore around. At this point Rob would throw in my face, "I didn't know we were together, this is news to me". He failed to realize the life we had been living the last 2 years. We were single when it was convenient to him. At this point I started to really get into chatting on line. With no intention to meet anyone, I felt held back by Rob, him all the while, having no hesitation meeting and getting off with strangers. The last 2 years together, we holidayed together, slept together, had sex, lived like a couple UNTIL I caught him for the final time. I knew this was over in every sense of the word. There were chats of us living in the same bldg and being in each others lives. This was over. The fantasy of us was dead.
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