Rob Is Wired To Cheat, Lie & Manipulate!

As I wake up this morning, the headline on CNN reads,
"Are Men Hard Wired To Cheat?" -
Being a queer male in society, having witnessed and experienced what I have, my answer would me 98% Yes!. My first boyfriend and I split as it was spring romance...That's the only relationship I had that split pretty amicably, in fact almost 20 years later we are still friends. My second relationship, ended due to his wandering eye, among other things. My last relationship...well if you've read the blog you know exactly why we broke, so the answer again to the CNN question would be, "Yes"!! If I have to be 100% honest, as I claim to be, these "situations" will come to see the light of day. Now my sex life with Rob was boring as all hell, lame and sometimes not even worth my time. I was better off taking care of "business" on my own as that gave me greater satisfaction. In the late 90's I called some chat, some guy wanted to come "and play" - I gave him the suggestion, "Why don't you just play" - and so he did, he popped by, got off, neither touched the other and all I did was watch. Stimulating it was, to see a man enjoy himself was more erotic than the times I was with Rob. Before that I believe, I made out with an old friend..but that was more a drunken, "good-night" kiss. Nothing came of it. That friend and I are still in touch and it was something I always wanted to do. Even making out with Rob was lame. During sex Rob wouldn't kiss, or at least not passionately as one would think during that scenario. In 2006, with my relationship dead in the water, I met this guy in London, while on a sabbatical from life, I met this tough looking and acting, thug like character, that had beautiful blue eyes, and a bad ass attitude. We got on like a house on fire and spent the last few days of my time in London, in 2006 together. We fell into bed twice during my holiday. I knew my relationship was dead when I felt no guilt. In fact I was thrilled. That year, my then "lover" and I had 0 sex, with the exception of a mutual getting off on holiday the August of that same year. That was when I turned to Rob and said, "I could have done that myself" - I cared nothing of his feelings as I realized then, it was pretty much over, for me at least. So falling into bed with "Joe" was rejuvenating and exciting. Both times were hot and heavy and erotic - and deserved. I remember my friend, tearing at my clothes to get them off, I was hesitant til I realized my friend really wanted to be with me, sexually. There were no feelings, it was just physical. The kissing was passionate, the touching was sensual and thrilling at the same time. I did meet up with a friend in Birmingham during that same trip. That night we went clubbing ended up with him pushing me against the wall and pressing his beautiful lips against mine. Dancing on the dance floor, me grinding up against him, getting aroused with him. I remember the cab ride back to my place from the nightclub we had been at. He was holding my hand and sneaking in kisses along the way. That was the most erotic evening Ive spent with someone. Though we didn't have sex, the sexual energy between us two was incredible, for that too I felt zero guilt. Why wasn't I feeling this way with my then lover, Rob? As Ive mentioned, little did I know what he was doing, and had done behind my back and would continue to do. I remember him asking me if I had feelings for my friend, I denied it, but did at the time. After it was all said and done with, how could he ask me those questions when all the while, he was the most unfaithful, lying partner I had ever had? One of the biggest hypocrites I have ever known, ended up being my partner for 15+ years?! Prior to living the lie that was the last few years of my relationship, the thought of being with someone else never crossed my mind. I hadn't gone into a chat, or called a line since meeting Rob, in fact I was the one who made sure Rob deleted his sex chat message as I knew of his past. He was convincing that he was being faithful, until he was caught, early on in the relationship. I hadn't touched another man until 2006, having been completely faithful to Rob for the better part of 13 years. I recall fessing up to Rob, Christmas night 2007, that I had slept with someone while I was away. We had broken up in Feb of that year and at that point could care less. I remember him telling me he couldn't be mad at me - He couldn't because he played that on me for countless years before!? - I asked him how it felt!? The shoe was now on the other foot. It was a great feeling, firstly to get that off my chest as I'm horrible with secrets and then to be able to throw that in his face. In all the glory, at the time, in the early years that was my relationship, never would I have cheated. When I realized how Rob was being with me, I played the same game, unintentionally. Being out there and finding other men who found me sexually attractive was new to me as my own boyfriend didn't make me feel that way and I needed and deserved that. The men I think who are wired to cheat, are selfish men and that is Rob to a "T". Rob is wired to cheat, lie and manipulate!
There is no need for him -
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