A Lonely, Disgusting Life Is What Suits Him...,

Well another busy week and weekend has come and gone. Its incredible to feel like Ive had genuine fun. Saturday was spent with my gal pal who celebrated her bday with friends, all day. While chatting with another guest, we were discussing relationships. This guy had broken up with his boyfriend about 2 years ago or so, maybe one? I don't recall. He is currently in a relationship with a 23 year old, while he is 46 or so, half his age. He was saying how he thinks "this is the one" - Asking for opinions, I'm not sure he was too pleased with people responses, but he took them all with a grain of salt. Asked about open relationships, or allowing your partner, to go out and get laid via other men and avenues...I strongly disagreed. I told them that I have been told that I am "old fashioned", that works for me. I am proud that I am old fashioned. This guest went on to say, if his boyfriend wanted to go out and have some fun, he could meet someone for the "experience" or go to the bath house. I had reservations about that. If you are exclusive, then you are exclusive. That means one on one. Not one on one most of the time. Dating, without any commitment to someone, leaves your door open, so to say. When you commit like I did to Rob, there is NO other men to be had. This is something Rob never understood, because as early back as I can remember, he broke that commitment to me. Fool that I was, I realize this today. I think back in the days I felt like the idiot "wife" who pardoned her partner, the one time it happened. Unfortunately with Rob, it wasn't the one time. I don't know how many times and surely will never know. The words from Robs mouth, confirming at least one affair, was enough. Never had full on confirmation til last year. This was the end, completely. I recall sitting on the balcony in the summer of 07 with friends, asking if we could be friends. Now we had broken up but things at this point had gone back to relationship mode. My answer to the question was no. Rob always wanted to remain friends. He couldn't see his life without me, but was good enough to fuck around behind my back, lie to me and what not. That's not any form of commitment at all. Different views on relationships I'm open to. What works for you doesn't necessarily work for me. I think the biggest thing with me is the no tolerance for lying. If I think of how many times Rob lied to me, it repulses me. The fact that I was that stupid. Better yet, Rob thinking he can get away with it. Everyone, everything has its breaking point and Rob pushed me to that. The words I spewed at him on that weekend, about a year back, were heartfelt and genuine. When I realised how horrible he was behind my back. Like this friends relationship with this 23 year old, it wont work, I know it now and await to hear about that break up in the near future. If I have to for see anything in Robs future, it would be something along the same lines as the friend with the 23 year old. Rob has this nurturing instinct. That instinct to take care of someone, seems to be so he can have the upper hand in the relationship subconsciously. Rob is no good for anyone, except for trash such as himself. There for no future for him, not with a partner at least. Disgusting and lonely is the life that suits him...
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