Those Days Are Gone...

Well Easter has come and gone and a nice one was had -
I recall that Rob used to say that something bad always happened, there was always some drama at Easter. I could only wish and hope that was the situation this year as well. And with no real close confidant it must have been lonely for him. As well, that is deserved. A friend of mine returned from holiday and we chatted this morning. Though he is not close to me, it is nice to wake up and chat to someone so special to me. I was told that chatting to me puts a smile on his face and that it does the same to me. He was tired from his flight but mustered up a smile, just for me. To hear him say he misses me and "luvs" me, warms me all over, in many ways. It always astounds me how I can feel this way with my friend and how I didn't feel this way when I was with my boyfriend. Even today, almost a year since I threw Robs ass out of my apartment, I have no sadness, no desire, no love or like for that matter for Rob. How someone can do something to the extent Rob did, to allow me to erase, forget and even deny my time with Rob is incredible. My friend abroad, who I am in touch with almost, at least, weekly when he is home, has greater feeling for me, more genuine feelings for me, as friends, more than Rob did when we were together. Rob says he would do anything for me, this was all out of guilt not love. Not even "like" - How a few simple words spoken between friends can have a bigger impact on me, more than what my ex made me feel in almost understandable. Thing is, my friend has never hurt me, never lied to me - even in the beginning as strangers, my friend and I were quickly forming a bond that is there today. Its been 5 years Ive known my friend and would have been over 16 years with Rob...and my friend is at the top of my list, where as Rob is no where to be found. He is erased, he is history. For this I thank my lucky stars...I thank my lucky stars for helping me get over Rob, to realize he isn't worth my time....and that people like my friend, are what I need, what I want in life. Its funny when I think of the difference between Rob and my friend. There were times I need Rob out of my apt, I needed my break from him. I remember the summer of 06 after returning back from holiday, we had 0 sex while away. When we came home Rob darted for the TV and plopped himself on the sofa to catch up on the weeks past TV shows. I remember him going form video to video and it driving me mad. I recall thinking, "if he picks up one more video, I'm gonna ask him to leave." Sure enough, Rob went to grab another video, and I snapped, "You have to go!" I remember his shocked look on his face, but I couldn't anymore. A week together away and we were just like 2 room mates, room mates with nothing in common. Never would I open my door to any man, but my friend has an open invitation. Id say that the last few years of my relationship, I really didn't want Rob here, if only for the fact that he was paying half the rent and other things, I kept him around before I made my move, my throwing him out. I know when my friend and I get together a great time will be had as we did in the past and plenty more in the future. Its nice to look forward to this. Unlike with Rob, I looked forward to him leaving at night, out of my hair. Unfortunately he left to go between the legs of some skanky queer such as himself. Those days are gone....
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