Bitter & Twisted Explained

Well hello - this entry will be slightly off.
At times I peruse my blog, the entries of the past months. I like reading or seeing the changes in certain things in my life. I also find it comical at how ridiculous my mouth can get. I like words, wicked words at times. My situation with Rob, in the end, to me, was the biggest mistake Ive made. If only for knowing what I knew, and sticking around. Regardless, it was a mistake and I want it erased from my memory if possible. I know its not, therefore I carry on. But this rant is about the twisted and bitter side at the same time. When I tell a story, a fable or tale on this blog, there, more than likely, will be some reference to Rob. As well, each entry is taken with a grain of salt and a sharp twisted wit. Unfortunately, feeling as I do towards him, certain vulgarities are thrown in the mix. I do, in all honesty, hate Rob, part of that is due to myself. Anyways, in my colorful way I get down right awful. Friends have told me that I "hate", because I am not over Rob. This astounds me really, but I let it go. As Ive mentioned many times, the minute Rob admitted to "activities" behind my back, it was pretty much finished. Of course a few weeks passed before I pulled myself together, and the rest is "blog" history. That's how we get to, today. Of course Rob crosses my mind, almost everyday I'd say, but usually if he does cross my mind, its in a negative form. Things like watching a talk show, and something reminding me of Rob, or a situation, is usually what spawns another entry. It could be twice a day or one every other week. Life is comfortable for me right now, I like it and wouldn't change it. But what I experienced will stay with me the rest of my days. To be cheated on, lied too by someone you thought would be with you forever, to being gone, in a slam of the door, hard to forget and definitely to forgive. Forgiveness is no where in the equation. There is no equation. I remember writing that "Good-bye" letter to Rob, I recall sobbing with pretty much every line. Every line I wrote, I felt. That to me was powerful to me. I remember telling friends at lunch, how I wrote, "...I'm a broken boy...". I truly was. I my world was shattered. Though I have a few more pieces to pick up, I'm trying my hardest to enjoy each and every day. Today I have nothing good to say about Rob. Although the vile things I write down are vile, there is truth in those words. I, unfortunately don't like that person at all, in any way and has cause no void in my life. In fact, I have my life back. The way I want to go about things. No compromise because what little compromise I made in that relationship, I did it for nothing. I don't play victim. I play, I am, happy. Life isn't perfect, but with no Rob, and life flowing as it has been, I really cant complain. I'm not as awful as I'm sure this blog has made me sound, or as angry. I'm no longer angry, I mean really, angry and holding a grudge all this time? I don't have that time or interest really. I could honestly care less what is going on in his life, the less I hear, the better. This experience has made me a slightly different person, someone, bitter and twisted...it's a good thing
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