Queer Living is Good Again!

Friday night in the city, and I am awaiting a cab ride to the "village", the queer drag in the city. For years, many years, I was dead set against going down there, hanging out there. In recent month, in attempts to meet other "normal" people, the meeting point is somewhere, usually in the so called, village. Its funny sitting here waiting and thinking how its different. Now I dont find the village the place to hang out. There are gay bars on that stretch and thats what I do now, its where I venture. Im more comfortable going these days. I think its primarily the company. Going down with cool guy, guys where there are 0 expectations and a good time can be had. Years back, with Rob in my life, my views on many things, were blurred. I still dont support actions such as gay marriage and the support for a vast majority of the "community" as I dont believe in their causes. Regardless, those views havent changed, but going to the part of town where a queer boy, such as myself, can go and have a few drink with friend is nice. Its not the seedy picture that was painted, to me, by Rob. Rob made me hate all fags, like they were all like him, so the village, was the worst place. I think Rob deep down inside wanted to hang with "his people", those views, his views of the queer society and mine were night and day. People, some people today, have shown me a good time, without the seediness that Rob lived. This posting is being continued AFTER friday day and a great time was had. There are times I feel slightly uncomfortable, but I carry on, I dont let it bother me. There will always be 2 different queer lifestyles. The type that Rob led and will most likely carry on through the rest of his days, and ones like me, who arent all about a shag and a darkroom or countless encounters of the queer kind. As Ive mentioned before, a few of the guys Ive met have shown me a different type of "night out". Ive also said before that Ive wasted many years in the squalor that was "relationship" with Rob. In explaining to my friend, the reason my relationship ended, was kind of therapeutic. I like letting people know that I was cheated on. Flat out thats what it is, that is the history that took place. It cant be changed or explained any different. When my friend went into details, or asked me for them, he was kind of shocked. Im intelligent, he said, how or why would I let that happen, time and time again. The simple fact was that Rob, just used me. I could careless how he would explain our time, good and bad together, it was all a sham. Im proud of my time, with Neil, my first love, Im proud and enjoyed my time with Doug. My time with Rob is something I look back at with disgust. Queer living is more fun these days, being free of scandal. Free of lies and mistrust, free of living in fear of what I didnt know. Living now, with pretty much no drama has had a positive effect on me. I dont bitch any longer about things I bitched about, even a year back. Queer living without Rob, is how it should have been back in the 90's. I have my time back, I have my life back and queen living is good again -
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