Rob is dead....to me

Its funny how not all these posts are brought on by memories of Rob, but more likely it is situations which i end up comparing to that whore, my life with that whore. While twitter has made it into the mainstream cyber world, there are a few minor celebrities I follow. You will see the correlation with where this is going. Anyways, one of these minor celebs I follow is a fellow queer who made it slightly big being on a reality show. While on the show I took a liking to his personality, sweetness, innocence and look, I'm simple and weird that way. Regardless, I follow. Anyways its fun to see his life change, how celebrity status grows. As the months have passed, this reality queer celeb had been approached to do gay porn. Though I can understand the dollar factor, I don't understand or think I would do something like that as its not in my nature. In following this "celeb", Ive googled to get to know more of him...What seemed to be a nice little country boy, is in fact a country ho....It seems as these few months have passed, with his star shining a little bright, he has been interviewed and shed some light about himself, his past etc. Now while on the program, he played a sweet little thing, in reality he is one to be bragging about sleeping with over 300 men and what not. That right there is enough for me to turn something off within myself, to repulse me. Why faggots feel the need to exploit themselves, their private lives is beyond me, I am so not like that, and thank goodness for that. The correlation, as you can see, is how Rob would try and come across as this sweet boy, when in fact he was nothing of the sort. As Ive mentioned before, years ago when we were just "friends" and going out to cafes etc, Rob would point out those he slept with...Is this something really to be proud of? Id say no in fact its something more of a tragedy. I talk allot of shit and what not, what I don't do is brag about people Ive shared intimate moments with, the amount of people Ive slept with, its no ones business, its not the most important thing Ive done and its not the driving force in my life, never has been. To say Ive lost respect for this minor celebrity would be odd as I only know him through twitter, to me he isn't real, he is a past time. Although this celeb had a million dollar smile and is gorgeous, something is different, as if I follow him now, with a different attitude. He is just a celebrity whore, just a whore and becoming a big one at that as I read on. All this is exactly the same as how I see Rob. I don't wish as Ive said before to have people like that in my life...not my real life, my everyday life. I have a friend, who lives in the USA who was possibly still is a whore, its all good, we are "cyber pen pals" - but he has asked me in the past, "You think you are better than me?", this in regards to not being into the "hook up" scene, I have no hesitation to respond, "yes I am". I am better than him, I am better than this minor, cyber celeb, and I am better than Rob. As a human being, as a man, as a loving caring, honest person, yes I am. These people have a different kind of wiring within themselves. Mine is set to old fashioned and I like it that way, its how I am and I am proud!
While in a shop the other day...a shop that requires a membership, which Rob and I purchased a few years back, I had to give an old phone number to look up my acct. Robs name popped into the system...I told the clerk, "He is dead, remove that name." - People, guys who are similar to the above mentioned, are just that, or become just that, dead to me, non existent, not worthy of much in life, Rob is worthy of nothing. Ive said it before and Ill say it again and til my last breath, Rob is dead to me...I use usually the final line in my blog blurb as my "title" to every entry as of late, so the headline would look great, unfortunately it isn't true just yet that,
Rob is dead to me....if only it were the truth - that he was dead -
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