Independant & Proud!!

Well 2 full weeks and a bit in my new place. Its coming along, slowly but surely. I don't want to make the same mistakes or bad choices rather, that I made at Regal Rd. Mind you the set up was much different...wall space and such. I have a shitload of framed pics I want to throw up, the question is where, and how. I have a few prints that Rob bought. One being the sepia forest pic, which I like but it was purchased for our old home and another print that was purchased from an Amsterdam gallery. Both of these, I want to sort of get rid of. I don't think they suit this place. Maybe its this phase of my life in which they don't fit in. Rob's brother and sister in law gave us a print which is currently and temporarily hanging in the kitchen. When I went to throw that up, to see if it sat well there, I saw the "to and from" tag, kept on the back. For that reason alone, this print must go. The print from the Amsterdam gallery, may go, if not, just may get stashed in the closet somewhere, for future use. The print that hung over the sofa, I think will be on its way out. Any hint of Rob CANT be hanging around here. As he repulses me to the extreme, so does any relation to him. So this will be interesting to see how this unfolds, what I do. Speaking to friends the day after seeing Rob, I mentioned how he looked tanned. Now he either looked that way as I was walking on the shaded side of the road, he went somewhere or is tanning his vile corpse in his parents back yard, regardless he looked gross. Telling a lunch buddy of mine how I had seen him, how he looked vile, she said in shock, "its amazing how after all the years together, in each others lives, you can just switch off and not want anything to do with them again." - I went on to tell her that I was sort of shocked as well, but after the experience with him, with all the things he did to me, it wasnt hard. Other friends of mine, said how they hadn't heard from him in a while. Surprising? Not - Rob tends to shut people out. Years back when we met, he had a clan of friends he grew up with. One by one and little by little they were filtered out. I know that years back, he hated the fact that they didn't like the head games he was playing with me, the sleeping with me, knowing full well that I had fallen for him. I was so honest back then as well, telling his friends, who became mine as well, that I was in love with him, that we were shagging and in the end I was just a play thing. They gave him grief for playing with my emotions. Maybe this is why, years later, as other infidelities took place, he filtered them out. Didn't want his childhood friends to know the liar and cheat that he was/is? Possibly the same with the friends I have now that he has slowly weeded out? At any rate, he is abolished from the kingdom of "Franco". Last night while sitting out on my balcony, music playing in the background, the street below me with traffic passing by, a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other, I thought to myself, "this is great, at this moment, I'm thrilled and so happy." It's so weird how I don't long for anyone in my life. I'm OK with friends like Tim, who I get together with here and there for a night of fun. I'm OK with friends who pop in here and there for a visit or we have some sorta social outing. I don't crave love from anyone. I don't feel any absence in my life. I am an independent woman & proud!
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