Once again sifting through PC files, I found Rob's letter to Virgin Mobile..when he was requesting more than 2000 minutes. It brought back allot of memories. Nothing tragic, other than the person himself, Rob. It made me realize how much of a "faggot" he really was and still is no doubt. It made me remember the letter I wrote him, that too I found and re read - I thought it was deleted but found it on my back up drive. I re read thinking I was too nice. Yea I was. What I should have wrote were words Ive used on this blog. I hope Rob peeks in every now and then, I hope he googles his name to see what crops up in the results. This will remain at the top of the google search under his name search or this blog search, for this I'm glad. Googling and Facebook seem to be a way of looking into people and I'm here to tell all. Its been almost a year, I made an error in a posting when I mentioned it had been a year. Apparently July 15th is a year, but it already feels like 10, which is a good thing. Regardless, the words used on this blog to describe him have been sometimes, vicious but none the less 100% honest. Things he did, said and so on, all true. Nothing Rob would ever admit to, none of it, that is his character. Ive said before I'm not embarrassed at all about anything during our time together. I was the better partner, this today I know for a fact. I was the better human being, the better man, and the best friend that slime ball would ever have. Unfortunately for me, he was the worst person to enter my life. At the same time, one of the smartest decisions I made in throwing him out. When I saw him the other week, I stared on and didn't bat an eye. If looks could kill, he would be six feet under. I got a good look at him...I could see he aged. He was looking like older family members, from the old country. Bloated, a gut over the belt and short cropped hair. Not a good look on him. His Anderson Cooper do, does nothing for him. Never did but who was I to say this? I felt good ab out myself as I mentioned, I'm healthier, thinner and definitely better looking, if only for the fact that I know or at least knew how he took care of himself. Showering twice a week if that, having a horrid body that never turned me on. If anything it was passion that turned me on and Rob lost that quickly. The rest of the time, shagging was due to the 2 of us being there. He was as Ive said a shitty lay and this I told him. Never one to experiment, with me at least - I'm sure he got up to things with the "strangers of the night", that wouldn't transpire over into our bedroom lives. I never wanted to see Rob again so that walk by the other week was sort of relieving in the sense that I saw what a miserable sod he has become, or continued to become. Sure my words are harsh, but heartfelt at the same time. I talk about him with more ease these days, yet nothing at all positive. When I ended my "letter of closure", I said something to the effect of, "i cant bring myself to say anything nice"...and since I wrote that line, I never have. Rob was a despicable person. Rob was not worthy of my time or trust. His cries of, "I cant imagine my life without you" were honest i think. His life is shit and I dont even have to know what is going on. I know the person he was for 15+ years, chances are hes continued along the same path that has left him deserted by the only person who, at one point, loved him. Rob will never find love like he had with me. Not that I'm tooting my own horn, I just know it. I pray for it, I chant for his lonely existence. On my side of the coin...my life had become something I never thought it would. It would take, getting rid of Rob to see things, the way things should be. I have a life again. Ive rid my life of the evil that was Rob. His pathetic existence puts a smile on my face!
x
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