...how it should have been, years ago!

So in talking and then thinking of the last 9, 10 months or so...its interesting how happy I have been, how happy I have felt. I'm sure some of this will sound repetitive as other parts of this blog have been, but I'm here to yak on :) Life for the most part is A OK! My life is simple, yet at the moment, for the last few months, there is nothing I'd change. While with Rob, too many things had to change and nothing ever did. Everything and anything really, had to change. I recall sitting in the living room of Regal Rd and say, "these 4 walls cannot be my existence!" - Yet year after year they were. The four walls I reside within, are fresh, not yet lived in so that is a story to be at a later date. Having moved and all, allot of people think you obviously go out allot more. Not the case really, its easier to go out, but Ive yet to go "all out" on a more regular basis. That's nothing that made my life miserable, say 1 year ago today or so. Living at a standstill is what made my life stop, made my life super dull and for a long time at that. Ive said time and time again how this year, 2010, would be my year. So far, I went away early in the year, had some wild nights outs, had some laughs and shifted my living quarters and allot more. More things have been done in the short time Ive lived in 2010, than was done in the last 5 years with Rob. Although I have quiet nights at home, I love my home, I love hanging around and lounging, listening to music, surfing away or watching some doco's - My time has become so precious to me. If only to do what I want from now on. Still learning how to live on my own, everyday is an adventure. Moving on is a life altering experience like never before. If you asked me 2 years ago where would you be in 2010..I don't think, anything remotely close to what it is today, would be thought of. In April on a night out with a few coworkers and what not, I uttered to a fellow co worker, "I am happy" - I was asked, "you are?" - I shot back, "oh ya!"....and you know what...I am...
I Am Happy!! Having gone back to being the person I think best suited me was a good move. No compromise for anyone. Not having anyone to "live with" is a marvel. I told the story today of how Rob had put his name on the lease about 5 years back when I moved to the 1 bdrm at Regal Rd...nothing was ever discusses about "moving" into together, officially - Sure Rob pretty much lived there, but never in the time we shared, through til last year, Rob never moved his things into Regal Rd(another sign). It was sort of an unspoken thing. I hated that his name was on the lease. Now, its me and only me. Proud to be who I am, to live as I wish to do as I wish. Suffering what I did with Rob is a learning lesson, to myself. To learn to love myself again, and to love my life. Its nothing glamorous, but to me its fitting. Its how it should have been many years ago!!