Well well...about a week into my move and things couldn't be better. Still allot of work to do, still making it my own. Its great that this place is totally me. There is no history here, yet. Rob has pretty much been erased from my life. Sure 15 years of my life was spent with him, how is it I can totally erase him? Bad outweighed good. Looking back when I talk about my past which included him, shows me how terrible of a person he really was, in my life. Usually after experiences like that, you learn something, you take something with you. With Rob, nothing. Ive learned to become more independent. Something Rob has no clue about. Still living at home with mum and dad, sad really for someone with his income, his age for that matter. Ive learned to be more social, more outgoing, something I wasn't with Rob in my life. Life was at such a standstill with him, it was pathetic. Rob is still pathetic as far as I am concerned. These days I have no troubles mentioning his name, experiences with him, he has just become, "That idiot" or "that cunt" or "that disgusting faggot". All of which is true, according to what I went through with him. Meeting people, like my friend Tim, who I think the world of, is what I want in a friend. Sure we flirt allot which is always fun, but we are good friends, someone I am so glad I met. I met a few, he was one of the first. Meeting new people can be, and is freaky. Being out here Ive stepped away from the chats, for now at least...all the queers are around me and am getting out there. I'm concentrating at the moment with putting my place together and making it my own as I mentioned earlier, that's my priority. Sitting on my balcony, I think its almost like a bad joke that I ended up where I am. For me its the place i call home, not the area. I can remove myself from the action which is right outside my door. Live it up when I want to,need to, but life itself is all the same in every other aspect. Its nice to know, a good feeling to know, I have moved on in every way. I had to get out of my old place, out of the area that Rob lingers around. The thought of him these days, repulses me. I, at time, hate the fact that I spent the time I did with him, the length of time at least. At this point, he was just a financial aid. Without him Africa may not have been possible, buying what I used to, would not have been possible without him. He was an enabler only financially. I remember telling my friend how, he is just around to pay half the rent, drive me around etc. He served no purposed otherwise. A lazy shag, a boring shag. A boring "friend". A twisted faggot with not future. He is still that - Ive moved on!
x
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