A Safe Enviroment...

While chatting to a friend I haven't yakked to in a long time the other night...she was asking how things were - how I'm holding up. She was impressed at my attitude, positive attitude. The last time I had a dramatic episode with her, due to Robs "actions" was Christmas 2007. She saw me in a state, that was totally different as to how I'm today, dealing and moving on today. She was happy for me. She asked what I want in regards to happiness....
Interesting question as I'm quite content at the moment.
With work, friends, family and such, I wouldn't change a thing.
I don't look back in sadness, rather anger. Not even hurt anymore, but more anger and hatred. People have said to me, in the last few months, since my life's changed, that I will get over the anger, and I agree. The hatred - NOPE.
When asked by my gal pal, about men and life and my past, I responded with, "I would never put up with any of what Rob did to me ever again". I think that's why I have no problem these days telling guys to get lost or not let them into my world.
Asked what I wanted for Rob...I found that a strange question coming from her.
I told her I wanted a life of misery and despair for him. She asked if I was serious...yet another baffling question as Ive known her for about 20 years...you would think she would know when I'm serious or not. I told her that I hope he goes away on his own...not to find himself or move on, but in hopes that his plane hits the side of a mountain...better yet, plunges deep into that Atlantic/Pacific in hopes that his disgusting body is never to be found. My other option for him..was that he gets fag bashed to death as hes one of the "defective" queers Ive spoken of... People seem to think, these are just words I utter. I don't act on anything in regards to Rob. BUT - the news at any point in my life about Rob's misery or horrid death would not stir any emotionin me whatsoever. It is what he deserves and hopefully happens, as that is news Im dying to get. The would be the icing on the cake...Though whats more than likely to happen is that he will get some well deserved STD, probably HIV as he is so promiscuous, it more likely what will happen. She laughed and at the same time was taken aback. I told her I was serious.
She knows how twisted & colorful I can be, but I think, quickly came to realise
that I was/am serious. She questioned whether I was still, so hurt by him. I told her no, that I'm so over it. Like I said in earlier posts, I don't have to think of the stupidity I had to for the better half of our time together.
At the same time, as far as I'm concerned, people like him should not be walking the face of this earth, especially those who preach otherwise, and Rob totally fit that "persona" - She went on to ask again about what I want...
I have it all, I told her. True friends who I know will be there, have been there, through thick and thin. A good family, which is more than I can say about Robs dysfunctional clan...and my health..funny how my blood pressure has stabilised much more since Rob has been out of the picture. So Rob was bad for my health in more ways than one. Put me at risk for disease as he frolicked with others, then back to my bed & my blood pressure..So getting rid of Rob, made my life a safer environment.