Giving Thanks...2009

Well today marks Thanksgiving 2009 -
What to give thanks for? Good question, the usual, health, happiness, friends and family...Also that I rid my life of a "cancer" that was or probably would have killed me by sharing some disease, had he still been in my life. Bringing some awful STD as he used me for his sexual releases. Bitter huh - Love it!
This was a busy weekend and again, one I could not have gone through if Rob was still in my life, so I give thanks for that as well :)
Friday was a night of fine dining, a $650+ dinner bill...and a night of eastern European surroundings at a club down on Wellington. Saturday was a night of celebration, the 1st birthday of my niece and godchild, Vic and my niece, Liv's, 3rd bday. Sunday was a night of 80's retro with a guy I met a few weeks back. I love being out and getting attn, for whatever reason ha ha. I was so invisible with Rob or at least its how I felt. I go to clubs to enjoy the music, not look for a lay, I don't work that way...But that doesn't mean I don't have fun in other ways, should I get approached. The strange thing, and again, for whatever reason, I'm comfortable, well after a few vodkas;), to hang around people, talk to some complete stranger while on the dance floor, out for a fag or grabbing a drink. Maybe its the settings of the clubs, I cant say, but its a good feeling, a fun feeling. When I was with Rob, if i did anything that would draw any attn to him or us, he would get so irritated, which i never understood, but whatever. Now I don't have to watch what I say, do or wear...Its interesting the kind of freedom I feel. Even at home, cause I'm here most of the time alone, I'm enjoying my time. I'm slowly building my life, sans Rob, and its coming around just fine. There still no difference in feelings. I still feel, when I think about it, feel betrayed on many levels, but that's happened, its in the past. I don't feel any good affection towards him at all. To me he is a horrible person and unfortunately nothing could make me change my thoughts on him. Sad to think for lack of respect, after 15+ years, we couldn't be friends. Ive realised that I don't have to tolerate that anymore. I'm actually enjoying being a single man.
For that I give thanks.
x