Trashy Creature of the Night

As I sit here in the early morning darkness, I enjoy the only quiet time of the day for me. It reminds of the days that all Rob wanted to do, what Rob would do if I allowed him when he stayed here, was to sleep to all morning. I could never understand how he could sleep so much. Along with a mid day, early evening nap. If I nap during the day, theres no way I'm sleeping when its actually bedtime. I always feel early morning is the best time of day...BUT for Rob, after experiencing life with him, his "hidden second life", it now makes sense, the need to nap or the desire to sleep til all hours of the morning. He was and would be up til the wee hours of the morning. Out and about, whether it be on the sex chat lines, out meeting guys or, as I recently discovered, with my own eyes, getting off on the WWW on Cam4...-
I lead a fairly normal, 9-5 life, I thought Rob did to until I found out otherwise. It would amaze me that he would leave here at 9-ish, or 10-ish on weekends, when he ventured to mums. But again, little did I know that as I went to bed, he went out or called up his "slag" jack off buddies or hooked up with some of the trash he still encounters I'm sure. This started years ago as Ive noted in previous entries. Is funny as Ive mentioned before, that when I first met Rob he would tell me about the countless late night "tricks", it never changed. It took years to realise this, to admit this to myself, yet not to Rob himself, when this was discussed. Again as Ive said Rob is a habitual liar, always in denial even with hardcore proof. It explains, sorta, the laziness he had, the exhaustion he told me of on our drives into work...I would be exhausted too. Hes no longer 22, yet an aging old sad queen/queer of 40+, yet lives, tries, the life of a 20 something year old. If I had to grade Rob on life in general he would get a huge F - FAILURE. Being able to get laid by fellow whores and slags is not living, yet more of a slow death, which is imminent, I crave for news of illness or sadness or depression, anything that is headed his way in a negative aspect. Ive said before I'm a true believer in karma and he had no positive energy headed anytime soon, nor is it deserved. I remember telling him in a letter, that hes broken more than one commandment, towards me at least. His faith in GOD is a blurred one as he cant follow what he preaches in that respect. I can only imagine his grandparents, who came to this land for a better life, rolling in their graves as he must be the biggest disappointment in his family. Most of his family that I met over the years, were stable, intelligent and good people, sad that it stopped with Rob - He is nothing like the family members I met - His grandparent would be disgusted if they knew how he turned out, and are probably better off in another dimension, as that's nothing to be proud of..
He's just a trashy creature of the night!
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