The other day, while thinking of one of my new "friends", he has something very familiar about him. I went on to search online for friends from my past days, to see if anyone could confirm my information. To my "chagrins", I found my first bf, Neil, and some of the friends we hung around with, at that time in my life. Anyways, one connection led to another, to exchanging numbers, planning a "reunion" of sorts, chat here and there. Upon getting first contact with Neil, I became all "gitty", just a funny, fun, happy feeling. When I ran into the next, and the next, I was taken back to the "good ole daze" - A time of minimal responsibility, rampant love affairs, late night drinking, the odd "druggin" and dancing binges, club hopping, late night, early mornings. They truly were the best! I understand part of it is youth...but I loved that lifestyle. I know now as an adult I need to be responsible, with the odd adventure and fun times thrown in the mix, somehow, sometimes. Having gone out the last couple of times, kinda reliving those days, has given me a new, sort of attitude, change in life. When I was with Rob I never lived any of those nights, with the exception during the "courting" period, where we would go to clubs/out. Shortly thereafter, that dwindled from minimal to nil. Clubbing has always been something Ive loved. I met Rob in club. We met on the phone, but our first face to face was at a club called, Colbys. Years into the relationship, while watching something on the television, in regards to people who live lives of clubbing and relaxed living. I never wanted to be that extreme. But said to Rob, "I'm living the wrong life."(in regards to the clubbing part), he said, "you like clubs?" With this real puzzled look on his face. I was shocked at that question, he had known me the better part of 8/9 years at that point. So puzzled at that question I was. So basically he(Rob), didn't know the real me, in many ways.
In regards to my "old" friends. The guys I hung out with back in those days, were the best to be around. We had highs and lows. Things were extreme at times, and at other times, things seemed more like a comedy sketch. The drama was all over the place, but the core of us, never bullshitted the other. No one in the core group lied about things. These were times of living off the system and having fun with it, youth. We had minimal money, and too much time.
One of the guys I chatted to said, that when he was in a shop the other day, and saw an Oleta Adams CD, he thought of me. When Neil and I dated, just a spring romance, we had "our song" and it was, Get Here, by Oleta Adams...That was funny to hear from someone. The few years that that crowd hung around, was a fraction of the time I knew Rob. Those memories, to this day, are the best days of my life. That was good honest, but street poor, life. The guys, throughout all these years have been with me in memories, never forgotten. The impact was great as its been 20 years and I feel the same. Memories of Rob stir nothing in me. Even amazing memories, we did together, they are now about me. I went to Africa, I went to the Mayan Riviera. The memories are differnt.
Im not saying that I will be going back to that lifestyle. None of us live it and none of us could, but being back in touch with good guys like that is such a good feeling.
Real Men who gave me Real Memories...not Rob
x
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