Dysfunctional!

Its weird how watching art imitate life, or is it the other way around...makes me see how my past situations, sort of affect me. Watching a show of such dysfunction is always interesting. When the one character realised, or came to admit to herself, her husbands infidelity, I got sort of a butterfly feeling in my stomach. I felt bad for her, I sympathised with her. For a brief moment I was sad. She didn't understand why her husband would go behind her back. For the first time, I was/am able to relate to a character whose gone through something personal like that. The character said that she wasn't telling anyone because its was embarrassing, it was admission of failure in society. I wont say that my situation is an embarrassment, other than the fact that Rob fooled me time and time again...that i was a fool to forgive him and carried on, that was the stupidity of my part. If I was the person I said I was, when I first found out that Rob was cheating on me, early on in the relationship, I should have ended it, yet carried on, for 10+ years. If I have to think about it, it is/was a sad situation, but for the fact that I was wronged, it is easier to deal with. Watching the husband on stage, and having this hate for him for doing what he did to his wife, I think of Rob...The hatred towards him that I feel. The woman still loved her and so she told him as he walked out. It was made clear that if it didn't work out with the husband and his play toy, that it wouldn't work out between them regardless, that's how I felt and feel. I couldn't possibly have anything to do with Rob ever again, to any capacity. The hurt this character felt, came through to me as I experienced the same thing. It was as if, that part of my life was played out on stage, I took it personal, I understood the tears she shed, the screams she yelped. The character was a strong character, an independent character. This, I'm trying to be. Feeling betrayed like the character, hearing her say she was betrayed, her love and trust were betrayed, rang loud and clear to me. The character of the jilted wife, I loved. I am or was that person. I, at times cant believe that that happened to me as I look back but it has. Having washed Rob out of my hair is easier with each passing day. The hate and betrayal I feel still are strong feelings in me. The thought of him repulses me, the fact that I was taken for a fool for such a long time, that I carried on knowing what I knew to be true, pisses me off. Touching his body, lips and more, disgust me. The fact that he would touch someone else's lips apart from mine, makes me sick to my stomach. Knowing he shed his clothing in front of someone else, and then coming back to my bed, makes me wanna throw up. The female character eventually, was alone, stormed out of the house, to carry one a new life...That is my character. No time for more for anymore games, yet time to start over again.