Dust To Dust....

Another summer weekend of fun, that isn't over just yet. Today I will spend the afternoon with my friend. I really look forward to seeing some of the new people in my life, with such anticipation! I remember when I was with Rob...we all look forward to the weekends, not when I was with Rob! Time for fun, time to relax from the week of work and so on. When I was with Rob, the last 5, 6 and even 7 years, there was never anything to look forward to. Our weekends were so predictable, life in general was predictable, but the weekends were the worst. It was always the same...wake up whenever, sit around have coffee and flop in front of the TV for a few hours. At around 2pm or so, get changed and go out to run the same old errands....be home usually by 4 or so...dinner and a spliff and the evenings in front of the tube. This is when i would retreat to my desk, which was in the living area, but I would float away into my own world. A world and a life I was missing out on. Never anything fun or new to tell people when they asked, "How was the weekend" - it was always the same. Today and for the last 10 months or so, life has taken a turn. Just about every weekend, theres some tale to tell...People seem more interested, as the tales have changed. Rob probably still lives in the routine we were in. Doing nothing but sleeping and flopping in front of the sofa, til the weekend was over, and then back to the daily grind of the work week. I'm sure he is still the promiscuous whore still, the late night anonymous hook up with face less strangers....That will never change I'm sure. I recall one tale he told me. He went to meet some guy for a hook up - did the deed, Rob then called a cab. The trick of the night said the cab had arrived, when in fact it hadnt. Rob was left out in the cold to wait, poor slag. He was just a play thing for the trick of the night. This is not the same with me, thank god. Being out with my friend the other day, til past 3am, laughing and talking, messing around and drinking...good times. The last 2, 3 weeks or so, after meeting my friend Patrick, nights out during the week have happened as well. Interesting as Ive not done that, not for a long time. Rob and I were lucky to step out on weekends, apart from the routine outings, during the weekend, let alone Monday to Friday! I so look forward to my encounters, escapades with my new friends. Some of these friendships are already cemented as true friendships, and building and working on others. Life seems so simple these days, its how I am, it how I want to live. The most drama I have these days is, "Does he like me?" - not in a relationship way, but as friend as a person. Its nice to be myself with new friends. Its not til I can shoot my mouth off and not offend, that I know its a good friendship. People who get my twisted sense of humor. The guy I went out with Friday, whom Ive known for about a year, tells me I'm a true character, and in a good way. That's so nice to hear, nice to know I can be Franco, and be liked at the same time. Today as Ive mentioned Ill spend it with my friend Patrick who, over the last month or so, has brought something special into my life....Something I haven't felt in such a long time. The laughter in genuine, the feelings of wanting to be with him are genuine, scary and new, but all good. With Rob there was no wanting to spend time with him alone, especially near the end. I couldn't wait for him to be gone and now he has vanished - as in death they say,
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust"...
x