1 Year On - Kicks Ass!

I made a comment a few entries ago about it being a year since I last spoke to Rob, that was the day we passed by each other. I was wrong, a month premature. Today, July 15th, marks 1 year when Rob confessed to me, rather answered the question, if he had cheated on me, to which he responded yes. 365 days since my world turned upside down. If you've read this blog, especially after that day, you will see how much has changed, what twists and turns my life has taken, all for the better, than it was 366 days ago. I will mark this anniversary of sorts, with a night out with a new, special friend. Its nice to have this special friend, its brought more sunshine into my life. Ive said it before how, someone new whom I am slowly getting to know, has made me feel, makes me feel so special and much more laxed than I was with Rob. Sure there was ease with Rob, but there were always thoughts. Thoughts that would be confirmed by Rob, negative thoughts. I don't have that today. Its not something I have to think about. Not all homosexuals are trashy like Rob. Ive come to learn this as the months have passed. Sure Ive met some trash, it cant be avoided. What can be avoided is letting them into my life and this I haven't let happen. I have a few special friends whom I think the world of. Again, never did I think this would be the case. This new chapter has had very few let downs. Sure there is the odd "blah" phase I/we go through. These phases are easier to deal with these days. With Rob, the question was always, "when will it happen again?" - "What will I found out next?" - thinking things couldn't get worse with Rob, they always did. I have buried the last 15 years of my life with Rob. Patrick, a friend, is amazed how we dont even speak after all this time. I'm the one who went through it, no one else, that I know of. Again I can openly talk about experiences from my past, which include Rob, but the fact that he is in any of these tales, is due to his stupidity. I laugh at things more these days. I told a friend how, I have erased Rob from my past, to this they are amazed. Ive said it before, and its not to play victim as I'm so not that, its to be honest and truthful. No one ever has hurt me like Rob did. When I was dating Doug 17+ years ago, I found out he was cheating on me, I left, it was over and it was done with. I never saw him again and cut the cord. It wasn't a back and forth, "is he with someone again?" - I ended it and it was enough. Rob went through a cycle, a 15+ year cycle, a repetitive cycle that would never end. The mind fucks he played on me had an effect. This is why having my special friend is a blessing. Never did I think I could welcome someone like him in my home, but I have. Its a nice feeling and look forward to more evenings like I will have this evening. Dating Rob was an experience yes...an experience I never wish to relive!
1 Year on...kicks ass!!
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