I can, as I do...as I will

So here we are, Valentines 2010 - Looks to be a fun one.. Something Ive needed for a long time. Its also Family Day weekend and took care of that yesterday. So tonight I'm meeting up with friends for some grub, drink and dancing away...Its nice to plan a fun evening for a change, usually I wing it with no set "schedule", but tonight is different. I was asked to go out last night as well, but the family raped me of my time last night, but in a good way :) I was asked to go to this "alternative" bar/club, which sounded interesting but again couldn't do it, so I'm hoping to check that out sometime in the near future. I hear it gets kinda "freaky" there, so with my friends, Id be cool with going. Its not somewhere I think I venture out to all by myself ha ha, I'm not that ballsy. Its funny in re reading the story of my life through journals and all, how much more interesting it has become over the last 6 months. A total 360 in comparison to the last 10 years or so. Even Valentines this year will be more fun that it has been, or was, when I had a partner, which sounds so wrong. Valentines with Rob was lame, went un noticed usually. Not that I ever wanted anything as I'm not one of these senti"mental" fags when it comes to shit like Valentines. Again, more for the lust factor that didn't exist between the ex and I. Chatting with a gal pal of mine here the other day, we were discussing people we've dated, sex, one night stands etc...of days gone by to the present. She went on to discuss her worse sexual partner, which was revealing. I in turn voiced my worst. If only for the fact that we spent 15 years together, with no straying on my part, Rob was and is my worst sexual partner. This isn't to be mean, its just honest. I told her how we, one year, didn't have sex at all...His straying ways would later make sense as to why he didn't with me, he was getting it elsewhere, yet carrying on as if nothing. How one year, I was able to count on one hand how many time we shagged...pathetic really. My gal pal was sort of confused as to how that was possible, being to men...In the end Rob wasn't much of a man, in so many ways. Out sex life was pretty much non existent for the better half of the last half of our time together. I remember telling him we should switch "roles" - he almost couldnt bear the thought, almost whimpered "I cant" - not much of man as you can tell. I go either way, Rob on the other hand, as in life in general as well as sex, had no sense of adventure. Again his idea of adventure is meeting faceless strangers for a quick blow/shag. That's just trashy, not adventurous, the adventurous part will come when he is plagued with some queer disease that is headed his way. I hope for valentines this year, that he is home, lonely and realises what a mess of a clump of faggot cells he is. I know that this will be an awesome Valentines day...not in regards to having one, cuz the last thing I want is that. Its about going out and enjoying crowds of people on the dancefloor, bumping and grooving to the music throughout the night. Im looking forward to getting all dolled up and working it as I can, as I do...as I will.

x