Misery On His End Would Be The Best!

Wow I haven't been away this long since the beginning of this blog and no, it ain't over yet -
The last few weeks have been filled with highs and lows(not in a bad way, but a fun way), stepping out with good friends ending summer in the manner I had hoped for when 2010 started. I'm still in cahoots with Jonathon, we always have a good time together. Stopping by the other day with his dogs, was an awesome experience. Ive been behaving or living at a much younger age range than I really am, but if I have to say, its been fun. Sure it has me run down after a while, but days like today I can rest and recoup. Sometimes the fun gets out of hand, but you know, its been years since Ive been able to let me hair down without worry. As Ive mentioned before, Rob was(at least acted) like he was on the straight and narrow, only to find out, after years of speculation, the Rob was in fact the worst person I had ever been involved with. Even Jonathon, in the short period I have known him, is a more honest, forth coming person than Rob was/is. If I ask Jonathon a question, a personal question at that, I am given an honest answer. Regardless if my feeling would get hurt or not, I appreciate the honesty. I told Jonathon that the one thing I have to have in order to keep any type of relationship, whether it be a friendship or relationship, is honesty, 100%. Rob didn't give me that for years. The lies and deceit went on for years and fool that I was, stuck around. That's all a thing of the past. A co worker the other day was reminiscing about a line I use when I'm hungry. She said, "when we would be in the car with Rob..." - I said, those days have been erased from my memory. Asked by another friend if I think of him or miss him. Not at all. What is there to miss really. What good was he in my life the last little while, the longest while? Having to live a life of mistrust and jealousy? That's nothing to be missed. Although I have told Jonathon, I don't want a relationship, not now, I'm not ready, its nice to have met someone like Jonathon, someone to hang with, go for drinks and play around with the pups, is more than enough right now. We are growing tight which is nice. A friendship based on liking the person for the person. Its the same with my fab friend Tim and his current love interest, Dave. Hanging out and being "Franco" is an awesome time. As summer draws to a close I wonder what my social life will be like. I have no issues being an introvert in the colder weather, that and the fact that Ive spent so much cash this summer on nights out. People like Jonathon, or my other friend Patrick who live in the hood or close by is a good feeling. I will continue to hang out with them and get to know them. Enjoy my time with them, good company and a good laugh. I know nothing of Rob over the last few months and with this, I'm cool. Its how I want it. I have honestly been a bit tempted to ask common friends, if they've heard from him. Not because I miss him cuz that is so not the case, but to ensure my life has changed for the better, that my life got better since kicking him out of my life. Misery on his end would the best to hear....
x

Summer 2010 - I Made It My Own...

The last weekend of summer 2010 is here. Summers not officially over but its on its way out when this weekend rolls around. Ive had and am continuing to have fun, more fun this past summer, than Ive had in a long long time. I have lived my life to the extreme. Ive met some great people, been out and social like the person I always was but was suppressed while with Rob. This past summer Ive proved to myself that there is life to live and things to learn and explore. I continue with great friendship with Tim...someone Ive truly come to adore as a person and this he knows. Jonathon and I continue to get to know each other and see each other o n a fairly regular basis. Tim is a fun, yet conservative guy who gets on with me like a house on fire. I certain respects, there are similar qualities between Rob and Tim. The difference being that Tim is a completely honest gentleman with me. Hides nothing and we are just friends. Having gone through the odd drama while having him in my life, hes proven to be there for me in the most trivial of dramas and for that Im greatful. Jonathon is a "different" character and am going up and down on getting to know him. The thought of having someone in my life again in a different capacity is still frightening to me. I dont want to relive, as Ive said a million times over, what Rob put me through. This slow process of getting to know Jonathon is at a pace Im ok with and want it to flourish more. We both like each other, have fun together and enjoy each others company so a good start. For many years, through summer and most of the year really...after the weekends, as Ive said, there was nothing to ever say, we never did anything and lived like monks pretty much. Staying home getting high. Sure I still like doing that, but there is a world out there, life is out there, people are out there. We were shut ins and pathetically wasted many years. Im petty sure Robs pitiful existence is pretty much the same. I'd be blown away to hear otherwise.
Life is faster these days both good and bad I guess. Im glad that I am able to live how I want and make it, no troubles. I really see now a year+ on that Rob really wasnt any good for me in any capacity, well maybe as a driver and one who paid half the rent. I still hate that man for being what he is and doing what he did. I never think of him and glad on that front as well. When there are such wonderful characters in my life like, Tim and Jonathon and few others, why would I dwell on the tragic life I led years back with Rob. A learning experience it was, for all the wrong lessons and reasons, yet something that is stashed away deep in a corner as something more of an embarrassment and waste of my years and energy.
Summer 2010 - I worked it, I owned it and I made it my own!